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battlecrops

Battlecrops' Zoo Survey

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battlecrops    3

This was done about two years ago, thought it might be of interest to some folks here.  The main thing I wish I would've done differently is not have the survey open to kink/fetish folks, as it kinda skewed the results in some places, but eh.  Most of the responders found it through /r/zoophilia before it was banned, and I know a few people who aren't involved with online communities took it as well.  

Survey results

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silverwolf1    192

Thanks for posting it here. I found the survey quite interesting when I took it. I'll have to look at it again though now that it's results are finalized.

sw

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battlecrops    3

Oh wow what forum/community did you guys hear about it on?  I thought I made sure to post follow ups when the results where finished at each site I posted the survey to.  Sorry y'all are so late to seeing it!

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Actaeon    101

That's a nice survey, and pretty well done. Interesting to see that 26% of respondents (myself included, though I wasn't in the survey) had been diagnosed with depression. Wonder if there's a link....

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Ramseys    71
4 hours ago, Actaeon said:

That's a nice survey, and pretty well done. Interesting to see that 26% of respondents (myself included, though I wasn't in the survey) had been diagnosed with depression. Wonder if there's a link....

I noted that too.

It could be from having to hide our secret from the rest of the world for so long.

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Bear28    26

I agree Rammy. Having to hide a big part of ourselves leads to that, we'll in my case anyway

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silverwolf1    192
On 12/2/2017 at 3:29 PM, Actaeon said:

That's a nice survey, and pretty well done. Interesting to see that 26% of respondents (myself included, though I wasn't in the survey) had been diagnosed with depression. Wonder if there's a link....

 

On 12/2/2017 at 7:43 PM, Ramseys said:

I noted that too.

It could be from having to hide our secret from the rest of the world for so long.

For me the diagnosis came after losing my longest, and first true, partner Tippy.  I think that happens a bit too.

sw

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30-30    21

@Actaeon @Ramsays @Bear28: I just don´t know, for every "depressive zoo", there are 3 non depressive ones in this survey. Battlecrops also mentioned this survey was open to fetish people too and thus, the results are not really representative. I always wonder why keeping a secret should lead to depression. As a guy who has quite a few coming outs to friends and family, the only thing I can tell you is that being "open" about your sexuality and its positive effects is vastly overestimated. Nothing of real importance is different in your life after "breaking the secret to others"...it´s still the same life. For me, my orientation is no "burden" that is hard to carry, especially not when I have to keep my mouth shut about it...in fact, it´s really easier to bear when you keep your mouth shut. 

 

Besides that, I´d really appreciate it if someone starts to do something with this survey´s results. Draw some conclusions maybe...for example, in this survey, more than 75% self identified as bi- or homosexuals....and now I really wonder if the common argument of "breaking Pandora´s box" actually has some truth in it. Why are we heterosexuals so underrepresented in "zoophilia"? And why is it that the overwhelming majority refers to zoophilia as an orientation, but only a very measly percentage actually is exclusive? And is a mixture of two orientations still a genuine orientation? I always compare it to chemistry, salt has two elements as components, sodium and chlorine...but salt is not an element. So why is non exclusive "zoophilia" seen as a legit orientation then?  There are many questions hidden in this survey and it makes me sad that no one is starting to dig them up...

For example, there´s a huge portion of folks referring to themselves as "heterosexual with humans, but bisexual/homosexual with animals"...is it really hateful to say that these folks live out their homosexuality with animals because "with animals, it´s not gay"?....don´t laugh, I´ve heard that phrase more than I can count.  Anyway, I´d really like to see someone actually doing something with this survey´s results. 

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30-30    21
11 hours ago, silverwolf1 said:

 

For me the diagnosis came after losing my longest, and first true, partner Tippy.  I think that happens a bit too.

sw

True that....losing my soulmate, my partner that accompanied me for 22 years of my life was what led me closest to a depressive state of mind. I´ve never had any problems from keeping my mouth shut about my special relation to horses, but when I was lying beside my partner´s dead body, when I prepared her for the incinerator, this was a huge blow to my inner balance. My mare´s ashes I keep in a urn and everytime I walk by the little "altar" I built for her, with pictures of her, with her last set of horseshoes, with her saddle and all her other stuff, I suddenly experience a "microdepression", lasting for a couple of seconds. Her death severely kicked me off the rails for months and even today, with four mares I own and one of them being a very gentle, loveable and sweet partner, I still feel this void in me whenever I walk by that urn. I´d happily endure some inconveniences of not being able to openly tell everyone about my orientation if that could bring her back to me.... 

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battlecrops    3

I'm prone to depression anyway and have been living with it since middle school, but for a good while for me not being able to tell close friends about my orientation and partner contributed a lot to it.  I wouldn't want to tell anyone but close friends I've known for years, but my partner is such a major part of my life it's upsetting to not be able to tell anyone about her and have to keep how much she means to me a secret.  These days it's not so much depression and it's not as much about having to hide, but it causes anxiety because I'm worried about slipping up and saying something that accidentally reveals how I feel or my attraction to animals.  I do get sad because my one best friend doesn't know and I can't tell her, but I'm more paranoid about accidentally saying something too much.  Anyway I guess my point is from personal experience with being prone to depression and experiencing having to keep my attraction a secret I can understand how others would feel that way too.  I don't like comparing LGBT issues to zoo issues but there is a similar cause/effect in being LGBT and closeted, it often leads to lots of anxiety and depression.  I think having to keep any big secret about something so fundamental about who you are can easily affect your mood.  But of course it varies depending on the person and how they personally would feel about being "out."

If I did this survey again I would definitely try to restrict answers to just zoophiles/zoosexuals and no fetish crowd.  I've been thinking about editing the results spreadsheet and removing fetish responses and just leaving the orientation/attraction ones, but I haven't had the time.  I do think fetish/kink folks who have actually acted on it can give interesting insight to sexual activity with animals in general.

Edited by battlecrops
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30-30    21

Although I do see the problem of accidental slip ups, I still fail to see why this should lead to depression. Yes, it can be a nuisance to have the constant need of controlling your words to prevent fuckups, but almost anybody has something to hide from others....drugs, drinking habits, people being homosexual but still don´t want to come out despite of legality, hell, even so called "normal" folks who seem like just an average hetero couple, but get their kicks from feces play...I agree that a zoo has a "bigger secret" to protect, with more severe consequences if he/she fucks up, but I really believe the zoo community is vastly exaggerating the positive effects of being out of the closet. 

As a guy who´s had his coming outs to a couple of friends, I can tell you the problems you have won´t miraculously disappear, they only will shift.  Not to mention that by telling others you heavily increase the possibilities of a slip up...if you are the only one with the secret, it´s all depending on you...but if you tell others, they can fuck up your secret , too. Not even out of evil intent, you know....

One truth I luckily understood fairly early in my zoo life was that sexuality is best kept private. The only person who should know all about you is YOU, and only you. If you can cope with your sexuality, if you can accept yourself as you are, there´s no further need to "spill the beans".  If you take a look into the mirror, you´ll see the ONLY person that needs to come to terms with what he/she is. Be glad you still have a secret..in this era of media whores , this actually is a unique feature. The only person needed to live a pleasant life is you...

All of you who are depressed or anxious because they pursue a sexuality that is illegal...why do you give so much on what others and society thinks of zoophiles? Is it really of such a huge importance? I consider myself a semi-fatalist, I surely will do anything I can to prevent bad stuff from happening to my mare and me, but if bad stuff happens, I accept it. Fear is a bad advisor and constantly thinking about the "What if someone finds out?" or "What if the wrong person finds out?" will inevitably kill your overall happiness. You worry too much. And even if you will be caught one day, what is objectively better, a constant angst-ridden life or a joyous life while "it lasts"?

Honestly, why should I destroy my life with all these worries? And why should you? Why should anyone?  There is a phenomenon that is called the "illusion of omnipotence" and usually, it´s people in illegality or living illegal lifes who are massively blinded by this phenomenon. It´s the rather irrational notion that "the cops are already out there to get you"...zoos seem to fall for that quite often, I think. But there´s also a complementary phenomenon called "the illusion of impotence" illegal people fall for often. None of us has "I fuck animals!" tattooed on thier foreheads (or I hope so at least ;) ) and chances are pretty slim, objectively slim that anyone is accidentally exposed. I always say "If the authorities really wanted to put massive pressure on us zoos, we´d already all be in jail." But authorities have better things to do, more important issues to put their limited work force into...and we zoos aren´t as helpless and delivered to others as it is portrayed in our community. Authorities aren´t omnipotent and we zoos aren´t impotent. This "I need to tell others about my zoophilia in order to find my peace of mind" idea is a misleading one and the expectations of being able to be open are massively wrong too....and this even does not depend on "legality" of zoophilia. I was doing "legal" stuff with my mare until mid 2013...and still the repercussions wouldn´t have been pleasant ones if it had come out what my mare and I were doing almost every morning. It is an illusion to think otherwise, it is an illusion to think people will stop immediately to "disrespect" you just because zoophilia is legal.

 

One last advice: Stop worrying, start living...your time is limited as is the time of your animal partner. Don´t waste this time on worries. Don´t fall for the "Oh, we´re SOOO under pressure" filter bubbles erected in all these zoo forums...or does anyone actually believe that constant mutual reassurement of "Oh, we´re SOOO under pressure" will lead to anything else but massively angsty and depressed people? If almost anyone tells you how "dangerous" it is out there, will you find courage in this? Or will your fears exponentially increase the more you are exposed to the fearmongering? Lots of that typical whining about "unjust society" just serves as a self fulfilling prophecy, as a filter goggle placed right in front of your eyes, drastically blurring your vision. Yes, I am a zoo. I practice it with my mares for three decades now. Yes, I have told my orientation to quite a lot of my friends...and I am still here, not in jail or chemically castrated and in therapy. Yes, I also have to keep my eyes and ears open to prevent stupid things from happening, but I´m not depressive because I understood that zoophilia isn´t a cosy orientation. I also will not swallow the lies of these "mindless openness" folks....and can strictly recommend comparing our situation to that of so called "normal" folks...just ask the old guy with his significantly younger wife whether he can "just be" or if he too faces criticism and defamation from some. Ask the slender guy with his fat as f*ck wife. Ask the feces people. Ask the poly people if they can mindlessly wander around and unveil their sexual triggers to the world. What many of us wish for, this illusionary world in which there is absolutely NO problem, no criticism for your sexuality...well, folks, this doesn´t even exist for "normal" people. Judgement is engrained into the human mind and regardless of what any of us will do, it will stay there until mankind ceases to exist. Wishing for this "non judgemental fantasy world" is like wishing for a world in which you can step on a car lane without having to watch for cars in rush hour. The world won´t rearrange around you and your specific needs....so you need to be taught to turn your head left and right before you step onto the lane. Zoophilia involves risks....and I am absolutely willing and prepared to deal with these risks in a rational and responsible way. I really wish you all would see things similarly...without all of that wishful thinking about a "perfect world", lots of these depression and anxiety cases would totally disappear and a whole shitload of energy to actually change things in our favour would be set free. Well, maybe in a century or so... ;)

The strongest are those who can be happy in the worst thunderstorm, those who can find joy and solace in extremely dangers...also, those are the ones typically mastering all those dangers effortlessly. Zoophilia involves risks. Accept this and LIVE.

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battlecrops    3
21 hours ago, 30-30 said:

I still fail to see why this should lead to depression.

It's a pretty simple answer actually: because you/your brain are not prone to depression, anxiety, or similar mental health disorders.  It's not like being depressed or anxious is a conscious choice.  I consider myself a realist and my depression is not caused by wishing for a "perfect world" like you seem to assume.  Depression as an ongoing health issue at it's simplest is a chemical malfunction in the brain, producing less of the chemicals that allow us to feel positive emotions, energy, etc.  That's where antidepressants come in.  For me, no matter what my life situation or my personal outlook, depression is always going to be a factor unless it's totally under control with medication (has been in the past, working on it now) because it's literally an error in how my brain processes things.  I honestly don't think about being zoo that often.  I don't think about ideal situations or how I wish things were.  My thought process doesn't cause depression, the chemical makeup of my brain does.  I can't speak for everyone, but my two zoo friends my age also struggle with anxiety disorders and depression apart from being zoo.  When you're already dealing with a mental health disorder, anything can be fuel for it.  Being zoo, being LGB or trans, stress at your job, career outlook, personal relationships, etc etc.  So in my case and in my friends' cases the anxiety/depression was already there, and being zoo and having to keep the secret just added more fuel to the fire.  I've lost touch with one friend but the other one and myself don't consider being zoo a major contributor to our poor mental health anymore.  But we both struggled a lot when we were first coming to terms with it.

People with anxiety disorders are fully aware that we "worry too much," that's literally the problem, and not something we do consciously.  In a lot of cases it can't be changed without medication to get the brain chemistry back to normal levels.  I'm not really here to talk about the supposed validity of mental health disorders or argue about them, I just want to clarify how they work.  It's not going to make sense to anyone who hasn't experienced it, and that's fine, as long as no one is being dismissive.  Even without depression, I don't know if so simple to just "choose to be happy."  If something is making you unhappy, you can't just instantly change your perception of it.  It's something that has to be worked on, and it's a shit ton of hard work that not everyone can do.  Yes we can work on changing our outlook, but we can't 100% control our own emotions.

I do not want to be "out of the closet," I do not want "zoo visibility," I don't want to talk about how I "fuck animals" or have sex (which I never have and won't anytime soon, so a moot point and not a consideration).  I do wish that I could be open about this large aspect of my emotional/romantic life to my best friend who I share everything else with.  Don't want anyone else to know about it.  Even if I wasn't prone to depression and negative emotions, I don't think it's unreasonable to say it makes me sad that I have to keep something that means a lot to me closed off from someone who I have a very close emotional relationship with.  Me wishing I could be out to my friend doesn't have anything to do with what the community says about being out, it's about me wanting to be open and honest and how having to constantly work to keep a secret is wearing on the relationship from my side.  I'm not going to come out to my friend, but if I did, it wouldn't be because of hypothetical things I've supposedly heard the community say about being out.  (I can't speak for everyone but in my experience with the communities I've been in, there has been little to no positive discussion about being out.)

Edited by battlecrops
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